i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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