She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ass is underappreciated
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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