You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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