he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
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BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
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I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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