did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
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Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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