Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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