i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize