Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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