hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
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