So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
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THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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