okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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