I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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