I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize