Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize