I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
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i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
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Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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