chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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