I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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