finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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