Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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