Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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