you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize