This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize