my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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