The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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