I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize