yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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