I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize