have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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