I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
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i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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