Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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