Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize