I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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