will power is for people who don't want to get laid
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
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i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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