Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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