he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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