people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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