i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
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Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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