what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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