You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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