I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
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someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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