It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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