Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
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