Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
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