Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize