I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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