she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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