Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
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