he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize