how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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