and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize